Mirrors (2008)

Well what can I say about the Exorcist, oh sorry I meant Silent Hill...the Eye?. My bad guys I meant Pulse.....oh yea, it's called Mirrors.

Alright so if you can't tell from that basically what you're getting with this movie is the pieces of various other (mostly shitty) movies combined into one, and then made even worse. An ex-detective (Kiefer Sutherland) who's on leave for killing someone (how, why, etc is never explained, they could have easily left out the detective BS because it was irrelevant) gets a job at as a nightwatchmen at an abandoned department store and soon begins having terrible visions around mirrors.

Let's start with the parts of the movie that make 0 sense. First off we're told that the department store he's patrolling has no electricity. Sounds reasonable right? Yes, except that he's constantly turning on lights. Next we have the watchmen job in general. The department store was part of a massive fire, the inside is completely destroyed, the basement is flooded, and they're never going to use it again. Why the hell have they being hiring a watchman to patrol it for five years now? Waste of finances, just a lil?

Then there's other things such as he smashes the rearview mirror in his car but apparently the two on the outside don't matter, or the windows themselves even though he covers them up in his house. He also is no longer a detective but he got to keep his gone, even though he's on pills to stop his alcoholism and other things, that sounds like a good idea.

The story is equally terrible. The idea is that wherever mirrors are the "thing" (I can him Satan) can get to you and manipulate you using your mirror image. We don't get told why exactly this thing is in the mirror until like half way through the movie and we never find out what it is. Does this sound familiar? Yea, it's from Pulse (an equally terrible movie where ghosts travel through electronics). He first gets visions in one of the mirrors of people burning to death. Oh, like the factory in the Eye! Yea...

We eventually find out (after a ton of useless information that has zero importance to the story) that the cause of the thing in the mirror is an old lady who used to be in the mental hospital where the department store now is. They thought she had a personality disorder when she was actually possessed by this Satan, her brother brought in priests, doctors, etc. to try to help her. I'm sure by now you said HEY EXORCIST! Well yes, she even looked similar. Anyway more useless info and we find out that the doctor at the hospital strapped her in a room surrounded by mirrors which eventually sucked Satan out. Now however he wants her back and he kills the families of all the watchmen until they find and bring her back to him. I won't spoil the ending but it's incredibly cheesy, especially the "epic" final battle and if you've seen Silent Hill the ending is IDENTICAL.

There really was no redeeming factors for this movie. The plot was terrible, the acting was fairly bad, the subplots were a waste of time, the actual movie could have fit in about a 30 minute TV slot which would have made it a lot better. I don't know what exactly I was expecting from this movie but like One Missed Call and Pulse earlier it certainly wasn't this.

4/10

-Kartoon